22
Feb
08

sister, forgive me my kidnapping

Because of the nature of my job, I hear a lot of stories.  People explain themselves in job interviews.  Not just the standard stuff, but they’ll go into exactly what happened when they left their last job, who was there, what they said, how they felt.  I find the more ‘buttoned up’ candidates do less of this than the casual candidate, but there is an element of story telling to all interviewing.

fired1.jpg

Earlier this week, a man told me the story of how he was fired.  Stop reading now if you’re expecting any sort of professionalism:

“My girlfriend showed up at my job during my lunch break, which was around midnight.  She was as white as a ghost.  “Go to the doctor!” I said to her.  She wouldn’t go by herself.  See, she has lady troubles, if you know what I mean, for like months straight and that night she was hemorrhaging.  Then a guy who works there who also goes to school for nursing walked into the break room, took a look at her and said, “YOU NEED TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL RIGHT NOW!”  I was still on the clock, so I didn’t know what to do.  The nurse-guy was just staring at my girlfriend like he couldn’t believe she wasn’t dead yet.  He said, “JUST GO!  GOOOO!” and was waving his hands around.  So, I clocked out and took her to the hospital.  We were there for like, hours, and they couldn’t find the doctor.  When they did find the doctor, they did a D&C, whatever THAT is and punctured her uterus which was just wonderful.”

Reader, I remind you that this was a job interview.  He said he was fired for leaving work without notifying a manager.  It couldn’t possibly have been from a lack of professionalism since day one… no way. 

His story was like a scene from a Lifetime movie.  I will name it:  Her hemorrhage cost me my job: John’s journey.

lifetime logo

The stories that I hear everyday in a temp agency aren’t all that far from Lifetime movie plots.  Those writers aren’t making ALL of it up.  In fact, I bet that I could charge them for story leads.

Now I reveal an undeniable source of happiness:  The Lifetime Movie Title Generator.

I used it to come up with these titles:

The Kari story: one fetus too many

My mother won’t stop kidnapping me

One disappearance too many: finding Kari

The Kari Story: murdered no more

 I loved my sister’s fetus too much: Kari’s urge

Kari: I woke up slain

sleepwalker_30_mov.jpg

If you want to read more, visit this blog and read up on your favorite Lifetime plots!

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1 Response to “sister, forgive me my kidnapping”


  1. 1 patsyotoole
    March 6, 2008 at 9:25 am

    Fabulous!


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