25
Jan
08

no high-risk stocks. pha – woo!

This morning, Matt Lauer told me that the U.S. economy is most likely headed toward recession.  Well, that’s what his teleprompter told him to tell me.  It’s also what Brian Williams told me last night, so I assume they have their reasons.  They have down-turning, jagged line graphs to prove it! 

kasriel-recession-idea1.png

 When I was a kid, I kept a ‘money sock.’  It was a white tube sock, filled with loose change.  It was tucked into my sock drawer.  That was my lame attempt to hide the money sock amongst the other socks, lest a thief break into a ten year old’s room looking for money.  It could have been used as a weapon, it was so heavy.  Yeah, I was loaded…with pennies.

Now that I have a few dollars in my pocket, I figure the jagged line graphs on NBC News must effect me somehow.  Right? 

Right?

If anything, the tone of voice the newscasters use and the urgency in their speech effects me.  It makes me nervous.  Nervous and excited that I’m on the fringe of ‘what’s new’ if I know what to panic about.  But as far as the down-turning economy directly effects me, I’ll have to check my high-risk stocks.  (checking funds now…shuffling of papers)  Oh yes, I have no high-risk stocks.  Phew!

Only a ballet stage would be more awkward for me than the floor of the NY Stock Exchange.  Not much could be worse than ballet for me.  See image below.  Change that — wearing a tutu at the NY Stock Exchange could be worse. 

ashiyubi_ballet2.jpg

Anyhow, all I know of the NYSE is what they show on television — the paper scraps on the floor, the tv screens hovering above, scrolling dot matrix numbers and letters.  Red is bad!  Green looks good!  Many yelling men in suits.  Some are wiping their foreheads, some are giving thumb’s up signs.  They seem to speak in abbreviations. 

I’m no dummy.  I could understand the stock exchange if I really applied myself.  Maybe I’d even do well?  There must be an adult version of keeping camouflaged money socks.  

What do you all say?  Should I apply for a job as a trader (stock broker?  What are they called?)  on Wall Street?  Would that be any less stressful than placing people in temporary jobs?

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4 Responses to “no high-risk stocks. pha – woo!”


  1. 1 Becca
    January 26, 2008 at 12:40 am

    Haha, so much for your “recessions don’t affect me” poisition! But then again, maybe the plastics industry isn’t REALLY grinding to a halt this week. After all, a little ebb and flow is normal, right? (This from a biology major who suffered through — and barely passsed — Macroeconomics 101…)

  2. January 26, 2008 at 8:38 am

    I think you should buy one of those toe separators… and wear it to work on Monday. I mostly wear little gym socks now so my money socks wouldn’t hold very many pennies. These are really deep comments.

  3. 3 mom
    January 26, 2008 at 10:18 pm

    My philosophy is that it is not good to watch too much news. There is rarely a positive story and it seems that they delight in making things look bleak. The ups and downs I’ve already lived through(56 years now)and I am still alive and well!
    I’m glad you’ve written again. I am thinking about blogging. What do you think?
    Mom

  4. January 27, 2008 at 9:14 am

    First a hidden book, now a hidden sock. What else was hiding up in that stinky small room of yours?


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