22
Oct
07

urges to buy strange objects

I lost a finger nail when I was a kid.

My middle finger was crushed under my skateboard.  It’s a very clear memory for me, mostly because it hurt so much, but also because I swore to my parents that my nail was going to come off.  They didn’t believe me.  Imagine my splendor when a few days later my finger nail finally jiggled loose in a shallow bowl of warm salt water.  I was right!  They were wrong!  What else could mean so much to a five year old?! 

My two front teeth were knocked out while I was riding my bike.  I usually had scrapes and bruises on my knees.  There was no way that I was going to hang out with the little girls at recess when there was a kickball game going on with the boys.  Not only could I play with the boys, I could actually beat some of them. 

Being a tomboy was an integral part of my self-comprehension growing up.  I knew that Jesus loved me and I knew that I could throw a ball and win running races.  Felt boards confused me though, especially when Jesus and the disciples were plopped up there with no background or context.  Shotty Sunday School teaching is a whole other entry.

feltboard-teacher.jpg

If nothing else, being a tomboy has prepared me to have a lot of fun with my little nephew, Ewan.  He’s my sister Jodie’s oldest and he’s currently four years old.  It’s almost like I know his mind because it was my mind 23 years ago.  Sometimes I still have urges to buy strange objects, such as a four year old boy would buy, like fake Dracula teeth.  No joke.  I almost spent $7 on fake teeth a few weeks ago…with no reason to wear them.  As I stood in the store with them in my hands, the thought of wearing them in my apartment, alone, was the only deterrent.  Ewan would have loved them. 

vampire-fangs.jpgewan-tongue2.jpg

Now that I’m in my late 20s I don’t buy such things.  I buy clothes, milk, batteries, and other practical objects.  But that doesn’t mean that my pupils don’t dilate a bit when they fall upon finger-puppet monsters, NERF footballs and cap guns.  I would have given up a fingernail to have the money to buy those things back in 1984. 

The video below is Ewan and I wandering through a corn-maze this past weekend.  It ends with him yelling, “Run for your life!” which I didn’t know he was going to say until it exploded out of his mouth.  He truly makes me laugh and when I’m with him I forget about my worries, even if it’s just for a scary corn-maze stroll. 

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3 Responses to “urges to buy strange objects”


  1. 1 Liana
    October 24, 2007 at 6:22 pm

    wasn’t it you who pointed out to me in college that when my fingernails grow out that they are “flat?”

    I’m laughing just thinking about it, because all the sudden I can remember walking up to the 4th floor to my room & us staring at my flat-fingernails!
    LOL

  2. October 24, 2007 at 7:08 pm

    If anyone would notice such a thing as flat finger nails, it would be Kari!

    I’m so glad you & Ewan are buds. I love watching you two together.

  3. 3 Kari Stiansen
    October 25, 2007 at 10:07 pm

    Liana–you’ll be happy to know that I don’t remember your flat finger nails! But I do remember that you lived on the 4th floor of East!


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