Hot tamales are my favorite candy.
They pale in comparison to my favorite food, popcorn, but I’m never torn at a candy counter where hot tamales are found. In fact, I have a little handful of them sitting next to me right now.
Who wouldn’t love to crunch through the translucent, waxy outer-shell, sinking your teeth into the gummy center? The spiciness, the sweet hotness of it all!
About a year ago I went to the dentist. While cleaning my teeth, the hygenist leaned back and asked, “So, do you like sticky candy?” I don’t remember what my exact answer was, but I was all insecure for the rest of the visit. Yes, Pam the hygenist, I do like sticky candy! I love it more than any other candy, but c’mon, it’s not like I swish with it before going to bed at night.
It’s hard when what you love is what hurts.
For me, I only hurt because I love something. When I’m apathetic, there’s no sense of loss. But if I’m truly invested in something – anything – my heart aches most when that thing is broken. It’s why I still hurt over my not-so-perfect relationship with my late father, why I hurt over broken friendships and it’s why I hurt while working. It’s more than daisy petal pulling loves-me-not romanticism, it’s deep seeded abiding love that can ache more than just about anything.
What are my options? Stop caring so that I can stop hurting? Stop eating hot tamales so that Pam the hygenist will like my teeth next time? We know the answer to this one — note the aforementioned hot tamales next to me right now.